2/12/2008

Moving On

I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog.

Frankly, I feel a need a more appropriate name. When I started Ponderings from the Path, I was beginning to get a glimpse of who I am, still sort of afraid to believe it, really afraid to walk in it. I was still in a lot of bondage and frankly trying to stay out of site so I didn't become a target for more rejection and attacks.

Well, now I don't relish the idea of being attacked, and I don't paint a big target on my heart, BUT I'm not the same person in many ways. I struggle like everyone else. I am not longer imprisoned by the idea that others have it right and therefore, have easier lives. (Seriously, that is a lie the enemy used to keep me in self-loathing for YEARS. If I would just it right and quit being such a failure, things would be easier, and I wouldn't have the trials I had. Things were bad because I was a buffoon. Lying stinking Satan.) I don't believe that anymore. I know everyone has trials. I've said it before, "Are you alive? Then you are being attacked. It's what Satan does." I'm also not floundering to figure out who I am or worried that I'm going to miss it and ruin the lives of my descendants for the next 20 generations (Another prison destroyed.). A lot of the prisons that existed then don't now, and I can write as the present Jerri in emails and journals, and when I speak, I speak boldly and with passion. However, when I try to post here, it comes out so much less.

For instance, two nights ago I write two different pieces for a post. I spent about six hours--SIX HOURS--working on those blogs. One I posted and removed because instead of saying, "My writing time depends on what is happening in my life right now, and right now I'm in a season of stretching that is beyond words but way awesome," it came out as, "Man, I really wish I could find time to write, but this mommy gig really sucks down my time, and while I'm not complaining, I'm just not where I plan on being someday."

Okay, well, I am where I plan on being. I am home raising my children and loving my husband, using life experiences and freedom to minister to others in a variety of ways, one of which is writing, and I like my life a lot. It may be a bit hard sometimes, but all in all, it's what I want it to be.

For some, this may sound odd, but for others, it'll make sense. It's almost like there is a shadow associated with the title of this blog. You know how God takes us through seasons, and when a season is over, it is "dark" to walk back in there. It's like it sucks the life out of you that you have found as the new you. I'm not sure I am explaining this well. I think it may have to be a Holy Spirit revelation thing. OH! I know. It would be like getting a college degree and then going back into high school where you have to relate on a high school level although you have college mentality. It would be stifling and not give full freedom to the new life and growth you've experienced. That is how I feel when I try to blog here.

Therefore, I am considering a new name. The URL is actually passionateworship.blogspot.com so I could keep that and try a new name or I could change it all. My thought direction is that I want something that I won't be changing in three years when I'm at a different place. I have the URL jerriphillips.blogspot reserved. I considered simply using that and changing the name accordingly.

A practical concern is loosing people in transition. However, the Lord has given me Joshua 1 for this year's scripture. Joshua didn't worry that people would get lost in either the transition from Moses to him as leader or from one side of Jordan to the other. He was simply ready to take the Promised Land. He trusted God to handle the details, and God did. Oooo, wouldn't it be exciting if a new blog was part of taking my own personal Promised Land? Imagine the new anointing on that. Oh... That is exciting.

Rather than ramble, I will simply toss this out to you. I am interested in your thoughts. If the Lord brings it to mind, pray for me as I consider this and listen for the Lord's direction.

Thank you! Blessings to each of you to enjoy the season you are in and boldly receive the season you are moving into!!!

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Okay, I absolutely LOVE being your friend!! I have felt this way at times but I could never have expressed it as plainly: "If I would just it right and quit being such a failure, things would be easier, and I wouldn't have the trials I had."

That is such an horrible LIE! WOW! So thanks for the words you write. And thanks for reading what I write too!

Jenn

Jerri Phillips said...

Jenn,

You are a blessing beyond words! Thank you for always affirming me and encouraging me. You have more impact than you know, and, Warrior Woman, I know when the battle has brought me to my knees, you are going to show up and stand over me until I get up again...even when that means grabbing me by my shirt collar and saying (with love, of course), "Get up! You're a princess! Quit grovelling!"

You rock!