Okay, Danica said anyone who wanted to play could consider themselves tagged. I want to play, so…
Ten Things You’ll Never Hear Me Say
1. Oh, no, I don’t like chocolate.
2. White chocolate is my favorite.
3. I don’t like sweet tea.
4. No, honey, I don't need an RV. The tent is fine.
5. I’m sure there isn’t a verse in the Bible that covers that.
6. No, I don’t think you should waste your time praying about that either.
7. God couldn’t care less.
8. I hate the beach.
9. My hair is flat.
10. Of course you can drink your red Kool-Aid in the living room where there is tan carpet.
I’m with Danica. If you want to play, be tagged and let me know.
8/15/2007
Ten Things You'll Never Hear Me Say
8/14/2007
Simply Smile
For lunch the children and I had fish sticks and macaroni and cheese, the really creamy kind. It happens to be one of my favorite lunches and has been for as long as I can remember. Thankfully, the children like it, too. As simple as it sounds fish sticks and mac-n-cheese brightens my day pretty much every time.
I also like my friend Jessica. I know that looks like a wild transition, but it isn’t. Jessica also likes fish sticks and macaroni and cheese, and I rarely have them without thinking of her. Right now, life makes it hard for us to get together. She doesn’t live too far away, but she works outside her home, and her extra time goes to her magnificent son Josh. Right now, life is just a bit too busy to drive over an hour for a lunch of fish sticks. She’s there, and I’m here, and when we need each other, we know where to look.
Before lunch, the children and I did some science. I love doing science with the children. Today’s experiments were ones they had done before, but they always add a new twist.
First, we mixed 1 cup rubbing alcohol with 1 cup water to show that alcohol fills up the space between the water molecules. In theory, we were supposed to add 1 and 1 and get less than 2. In reality, the children thought the 2 cups of liquid with the swirling blue food coloring looked way cool. I explained the molecule idea, and then we talked about what made the food coloring swirl.
Next, we used salt to make eggs float in water. We found out that sea salt and regular salt both make eggs float. Then Robert decided we needed to find out if it the eggs floated because of the air pockets in their shells, so we broke his egg and my egg, which was in plain water. Mine still sank, and his still floated. Cheers of excited exploration echoed in my kitchen.
Why do I share all this daily mundane stuff with you? Because it isn’t mundane to me. Yes, it is simple, but it puts a smile on my face, and life is always made better when we simply smile.
(Oh, Jessica, I ate your share of lunch. It was delicious. Just didn’t want you to think it went to waste.)
I also like my friend Jessica. I know that looks like a wild transition, but it isn’t. Jessica also likes fish sticks and macaroni and cheese, and I rarely have them without thinking of her. Right now, life makes it hard for us to get together. She doesn’t live too far away, but she works outside her home, and her extra time goes to her magnificent son Josh. Right now, life is just a bit too busy to drive over an hour for a lunch of fish sticks. She’s there, and I’m here, and when we need each other, we know where to look.
Before lunch, the children and I did some science. I love doing science with the children. Today’s experiments were ones they had done before, but they always add a new twist.
First, we mixed 1 cup rubbing alcohol with 1 cup water to show that alcohol fills up the space between the water molecules. In theory, we were supposed to add 1 and 1 and get less than 2. In reality, the children thought the 2 cups of liquid with the swirling blue food coloring looked way cool. I explained the molecule idea, and then we talked about what made the food coloring swirl.
Next, we used salt to make eggs float in water. We found out that sea salt and regular salt both make eggs float. Then Robert decided we needed to find out if it the eggs floated because of the air pockets in their shells, so we broke his egg and my egg, which was in plain water. Mine still sank, and his still floated. Cheers of excited exploration echoed in my kitchen.
Why do I share all this daily mundane stuff with you? Because it isn’t mundane to me. Yes, it is simple, but it puts a smile on my face, and life is always made better when we simply smile.
(Oh, Jessica, I ate your share of lunch. It was delicious. Just didn’t want you to think it went to waste.
8/13/2007
The Bird of Paradise and Other Things that Bring Me Joy
Sometimes the strangest things float through my mind. From deep in the buried depths of my mind comes a bit of treasure that brings a smile and a walk down Memory Lane. In this case, it also brought a melody.
I don’t have a clue what unearthed this little gem. All I know is one day last week the children and I were chattering as we do sometimes, and one of the children asked, “Do you know what I like?”
Our of nowhere, I answered, “When the bird of paradise flies up your nose?”
What I would give for a picture of their faces at that moment! “The bird of what?!”
“The bird of paradise. It flies up your nose. I don’t know why. I don’t know what it does there. Maybe it just acts snotty.” I managed to reply with a straight face.
As two children stared at me wondering whether to be shocked by the idea of a bird up their nose or disgusted by the snotty comment, I wondered, too, “Where did that come from?”
Well, it comes from a song by Neal Merritt. While other artists did the song, I recall it being done by Little Jimmy Dickens. It was recorded in 1965, before I was born. However, my father was a fan of classic country music, and I heard that song into my teens I think. However, it has never given me more joy than now, and I cannot even tell you why.
The chorus is superbly nonsensical:
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.
May an elephant caress you with its toes.
May your wife be plagued by runner in her hose.
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.
You can Google to fine the rest. It’s a clean song, and 99% of people won’t care, but for me, it is a good bit of happy. Know what I mean?
Know what else makes me happy? My father-in-law.
My father-in-law loves classic country as much as my dad, and periodically, Pop and I get time to talk, one of the good talks that last an hour or so. Inevitably, we get to chatting about the auctions he’s been to lately, and he tells me about the latest records he’s found. I love this more than I can tell you.
I love it because he takes time to tell me. Not many people I know can have a good conversation about George Jones, Hank Williams, Earnest Tubbs, and the like, and I like that we can talk.
I also love it because it reminds me of my dad. The last time Pop and I talked, he mentioned a record he’d found my George Jones, and I remember one my dad had that sounds like the same record. Pop and I talked about favorite singers and the songs they sang. We had a great time. At least I did, and I think he did.
Funny how things like that can make your heart tender and still make you so happy, isn’t it?
And isn’t it funny how a bird of paradise can tickle one’s nose just right to make for laughter and silliness decades after its last known sighting? And isn’t it wonderful how God puts people in our lives that share those special interests that fill a hole with joy that would otherwise be a place of pain?
May God always bless you with a bird of paradise and your very own special “Pop” to bring you joy…
(Pop, thank you. You are a joy. Love, Jerri)
I don’t have a clue what unearthed this little gem. All I know is one day last week the children and I were chattering as we do sometimes, and one of the children asked, “Do you know what I like?”
Our of nowhere, I answered, “When the bird of paradise flies up your nose?”
What I would give for a picture of their faces at that moment! “The bird of what?!”
“The bird of paradise. It flies up your nose. I don’t know why. I don’t know what it does there. Maybe it just acts snotty.” I managed to reply with a straight face.
As two children stared at me wondering whether to be shocked by the idea of a bird up their nose or disgusted by the snotty comment, I wondered, too, “Where did that come from?”
Well, it comes from a song by Neal Merritt. While other artists did the song, I recall it being done by Little Jimmy Dickens. It was recorded in 1965, before I was born. However, my father was a fan of classic country music, and I heard that song into my teens I think. However, it has never given me more joy than now, and I cannot even tell you why.
The chorus is superbly nonsensical:
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.
May an elephant caress you with its toes.
May your wife be plagued by runner in her hose.
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.
You can Google to fine the rest. It’s a clean song, and 99% of people won’t care, but for me, it is a good bit of happy. Know what I mean?
Know what else makes me happy? My father-in-law.
My father-in-law loves classic country as much as my dad, and periodically, Pop and I get time to talk, one of the good talks that last an hour or so. Inevitably, we get to chatting about the auctions he’s been to lately, and he tells me about the latest records he’s found. I love this more than I can tell you.
I love it because he takes time to tell me. Not many people I know can have a good conversation about George Jones, Hank Williams, Earnest Tubbs, and the like, and I like that we can talk.
I also love it because it reminds me of my dad. The last time Pop and I talked, he mentioned a record he’d found my George Jones, and I remember one my dad had that sounds like the same record. Pop and I talked about favorite singers and the songs they sang. We had a great time. At least I did, and I think he did.
Funny how things like that can make your heart tender and still make you so happy, isn’t it?
And isn’t it funny how a bird of paradise can tickle one’s nose just right to make for laughter and silliness decades after its last known sighting? And isn’t it wonderful how God puts people in our lives that share those special interests that fill a hole with joy that would otherwise be a place of pain?
May God always bless you with a bird of paradise and your very own special “Pop” to bring you joy…
(Pop, thank you. You are a joy. Love, Jerri)
8/11/2007
I Choose Not to Live Life in the PIts
Lately, I’ve been living in a pit. You know what a pit is? It’s just another way of saying, “All I see are walls.” Well, I am tired of seeing nothing but walls.
I want to see things God’s way, and I have yet to see where God says, “I will bless you with walls that prevent you from having vision.” I haven’t found where He says, “I will put you in a dark place that is simply a grave for the non-dead that is beyond escape and wears you down until all hope is gone.” That’s what a pit is, and it is not of God.
So, I’ve been asking God how I ended up in this pit in the first place, and the answer is complex. To some extent, others dug it and dumped me in. I’m not trying to blame. People are people, and that is what happened. To some extent, I pulled out a shovel and helped them. Pits don’t just happen. Some thing happens that creates them, and I have a good idea of what created mine.
Then I ask why I am still here. That answer is complex in its simplicity. The answer: I choose to be.
For some that is too simplistic, but really, that is it. I choose fear over courage. I choose negative over positive. I choose rejection over acceptance.
Let me give you an example. One of the things I love is photography. In fact, when I was in high school, I wanted to work for National Geographic or some magazine that would let me do photo essays. However, I heard a lot about how I would never be good enough to pay my bills that way, so I didn’t. Twenty years later, the Lord has renewed my passion for photography in journalistic form. I’ve been published, and I will be photographing a major women’s conference for a magazine in less than a month. I’m also doing weddings and various jobs that require capturing personal expression. I’m having a great time with this.
If we stop a moment, it is easy to see the acceptance that is pouring out on my photography right now.
I’ve been published.
I have been asked to do the photography for a magazine for a major women’s event.
People are choosing me to capture precious moments in their lives.
People trust me to capture their hearts, visions, and dreams.
And I was told the pictures that were recently published received more comments from readers than any thing else-including articles-in the magazines three years of publications.
Folks, that is a lot of acceptance and blessing.
Then, there was the email.
Someone I have spoken to three times in two years emailed me and asked if we could get together at the afore mentioned women’s conference, and I said I was doing the photography. Instead of a congratulations or excitement, her response was, “Well, your level of photography must have come up for them to think you were that good.”
The voice in my head asked, “Are you going to take the bait?”
I really wanted to write back and be ugly. I thought about sending my latest resume to prove how inappropriate her email was. I even thought about calling a friend to tell her about this email that I refused to acknowledge, but if I refused to acknowledge it, why would I call someone to tell them about it? What was I hoping for? Was I hoping my friend would tell me how wrong this person was? Was I hoping she’d tell me how good I am? More than all that, why was I letting ONE email put me in a tizzy and define me when I had clear and obvious proof of the quality of my work? Would I choose the one email questioning my ability of the list of people and situations that blessed and validated it?
I erased the email, and I bring it up now because the Lord said it was the perfect example of choice.
There are other choices to be made, such as which voices I choose to listen to. On one hand there is a lady who is in the realm of several ladies I know and is often part of our lunches out. Simply put, I never please that woman, but it isn’t just me. No one pleases her. None of us live up to her level of anything. We all know that. We all know it wouldn’t matter what we did, she will find something wrong with it. Surely, she wouldn’t lie, so there must be something there, and we all feel we must fix the source of her latest rejection in some fashion.
On the other hand, I am blessed with a magnificent group of women that I deeply admire. They are stunningly beautiful both inside and out, and these women have had some things to say to me, too.
They’ve said:
I am talented.
I am beautiful.
I am interesting.
I am a good friend.
I am a good wife.
I am a good mother.
I am an inspiration.
Why is it that when this last group of amazing women says something life-giving to me I act sheepish and unworthy, but when the other woman blasts me, I feel I somehow deserve it? Are the women in this last group liars? I don’t think so. I think they are sincere and genuine, and I believe their words are heartfelt. So should I not embrace their words with the same conviction of truth that I would the other woman?
Yes, I think I should, and I choose to do just that. Now, I’m not suggesting we surround ourselves with “yes men”, or women in the case, but I believe it is a sin to choose to define ourselves by criticism alone when God calls us beautiful, worthwhile, chosen, gifted, blessed, delightful, lover, bride, and friend. What right do we have to call God a liar? Do we understand-do *I* understand that when I agree with only the negative, I call God a liar? God looked at all He had made and called it good. We refuse to agree we are good, but we’ll agree with everything else.
And thus, the pit.
The pit is where we live when we cannot see life as God declares it to be. The pit is a lie. The pit is darkness with limitations and no hope for escape. God is light so bright the sun doesn’t compare with power beyond our imaginations holding out hope everlasting.
Which do I choose?
Sound like lovely pie in the sky stuff? No, it’s God in Heaven stuff, and I’d rather believe in that and miss it some than live in a pit that offers nothing but excuses to sit on my derriere and be miserable. And besides, there is this book I’ve read with lots of stories of folks who could have camped out in their pits but instead took hold of Heaven and did things most of us only dream of. Honestly, it makes me hungry to do some of those things myself.
Granted, some of those folks in that book were in pits, too. There is a guy name Daniel that was in a pit with some hungry lions. There were three guys that got tossed into a pit with a fire so hot it killed the men that threw them in, and let’s not forget Jesus who was put in a pit, sealed up, and guarded. You know why God let them get in those pits? Because He planned to get them out and show His power.
That tells me whatever pit I’m in is only so God can get me out.
God was able to get the men and women of the Bible out of their pits because they chose to believe God and what He said about His character…His power…His plans…and them.
And I choose to believe, too.
I pray you believe you have the power to choose, and I pray you choose to believe…
I want to see things God’s way, and I have yet to see where God says, “I will bless you with walls that prevent you from having vision.” I haven’t found where He says, “I will put you in a dark place that is simply a grave for the non-dead that is beyond escape and wears you down until all hope is gone.” That’s what a pit is, and it is not of God.
So, I’ve been asking God how I ended up in this pit in the first place, and the answer is complex. To some extent, others dug it and dumped me in. I’m not trying to blame. People are people, and that is what happened. To some extent, I pulled out a shovel and helped them. Pits don’t just happen. Some thing happens that creates them, and I have a good idea of what created mine.
Then I ask why I am still here. That answer is complex in its simplicity. The answer: I choose to be.
For some that is too simplistic, but really, that is it. I choose fear over courage. I choose negative over positive. I choose rejection over acceptance.
Let me give you an example. One of the things I love is photography. In fact, when I was in high school, I wanted to work for National Geographic or some magazine that would let me do photo essays. However, I heard a lot about how I would never be good enough to pay my bills that way, so I didn’t. Twenty years later, the Lord has renewed my passion for photography in journalistic form. I’ve been published, and I will be photographing a major women’s conference for a magazine in less than a month. I’m also doing weddings and various jobs that require capturing personal expression. I’m having a great time with this.
If we stop a moment, it is easy to see the acceptance that is pouring out on my photography right now.
I’ve been published.
I have been asked to do the photography for a magazine for a major women’s event.
People are choosing me to capture precious moments in their lives.
People trust me to capture their hearts, visions, and dreams.
And I was told the pictures that were recently published received more comments from readers than any thing else-including articles-in the magazines three years of publications.
Folks, that is a lot of acceptance and blessing.
Then, there was the email.
Someone I have spoken to three times in two years emailed me and asked if we could get together at the afore mentioned women’s conference, and I said I was doing the photography. Instead of a congratulations or excitement, her response was, “Well, your level of photography must have come up for them to think you were that good.”
The voice in my head asked, “Are you going to take the bait?”
I really wanted to write back and be ugly. I thought about sending my latest resume to prove how inappropriate her email was. I even thought about calling a friend to tell her about this email that I refused to acknowledge, but if I refused to acknowledge it, why would I call someone to tell them about it? What was I hoping for? Was I hoping my friend would tell me how wrong this person was? Was I hoping she’d tell me how good I am? More than all that, why was I letting ONE email put me in a tizzy and define me when I had clear and obvious proof of the quality of my work? Would I choose the one email questioning my ability of the list of people and situations that blessed and validated it?
I erased the email, and I bring it up now because the Lord said it was the perfect example of choice.
There are other choices to be made, such as which voices I choose to listen to. On one hand there is a lady who is in the realm of several ladies I know and is often part of our lunches out. Simply put, I never please that woman, but it isn’t just me. No one pleases her. None of us live up to her level of anything. We all know that. We all know it wouldn’t matter what we did, she will find something wrong with it. Surely, she wouldn’t lie, so there must be something there, and we all feel we must fix the source of her latest rejection in some fashion.
On the other hand, I am blessed with a magnificent group of women that I deeply admire. They are stunningly beautiful both inside and out, and these women have had some things to say to me, too.
They’ve said:
I am talented.
I am beautiful.
I am interesting.
I am a good friend.
I am a good wife.
I am a good mother.
I am an inspiration.
Why is it that when this last group of amazing women says something life-giving to me I act sheepish and unworthy, but when the other woman blasts me, I feel I somehow deserve it? Are the women in this last group liars? I don’t think so. I think they are sincere and genuine, and I believe their words are heartfelt. So should I not embrace their words with the same conviction of truth that I would the other woman?
Yes, I think I should, and I choose to do just that. Now, I’m not suggesting we surround ourselves with “yes men”, or women in the case, but I believe it is a sin to choose to define ourselves by criticism alone when God calls us beautiful, worthwhile, chosen, gifted, blessed, delightful, lover, bride, and friend. What right do we have to call God a liar? Do we understand-do *I* understand that when I agree with only the negative, I call God a liar? God looked at all He had made and called it good. We refuse to agree we are good, but we’ll agree with everything else.
And thus, the pit.
The pit is where we live when we cannot see life as God declares it to be. The pit is a lie. The pit is darkness with limitations and no hope for escape. God is light so bright the sun doesn’t compare with power beyond our imaginations holding out hope everlasting.
Which do I choose?
Sound like lovely pie in the sky stuff? No, it’s God in Heaven stuff, and I’d rather believe in that and miss it some than live in a pit that offers nothing but excuses to sit on my derriere and be miserable. And besides, there is this book I’ve read with lots of stories of folks who could have camped out in their pits but instead took hold of Heaven and did things most of us only dream of. Honestly, it makes me hungry to do some of those things myself.
Granted, some of those folks in that book were in pits, too. There is a guy name Daniel that was in a pit with some hungry lions. There were three guys that got tossed into a pit with a fire so hot it killed the men that threw them in, and let’s not forget Jesus who was put in a pit, sealed up, and guarded. You know why God let them get in those pits? Because He planned to get them out and show His power.
That tells me whatever pit I’m in is only so God can get me out.
God was able to get the men and women of the Bible out of their pits because they chose to believe God and what He said about His character…His power…His plans…and them.
And I choose to believe, too.
I pray you believe you have the power to choose, and I pray you choose to believe…
8/03/2007
Joy
Joy
In my last post, which was rather here and there because I was trying to keep it abbreviated and give the Cliff’s Notes version of life rather than the novelette, the overriding tone was depressed. I admit it. I have been battling a rather significant depression for several weeks, and I have done all the right things to work through it, but yesterday it became apparent that I was still struggling.
Yesterday morning I sat on my deck as I had my quiet time and poured my heart out to the Lord. I didn’t realize the depth of sadness and hurt over some things until I began to weep as I prayed. One of my honest prayers was simply, “Lord, I need out of this pit, and I am lost as to how to get out. Please reach in and get me.”
One area that has been hard lately is marriage. We are in a season of change and growth, which is great, and I know God is doing good things. Right now, though, there is uneven personal growth between Rob and me, and that is hard. We are also entering into a new season with our children as they reach a different level of independence, and all the changes often leave me feeling like I am on a boat in the middle of a lake in a huge storm wondering if the Guy sleeping in the bottom of the boat is aware of the situation or if He needs me to help Him grasp the reality of it all. While I know He isn’t sleeping and He does know, I have moments when the trip still makes me sea sick, and jumping ship seems to have some significant perks.
Lots of lovely imagery, eh? Well, let me put it simply: it seems that everything the Man of my Dreams has been doing lately is getting on my nerves. His very presence can be aggravating, and it isn’t just him. The children are the same way. Friends are the same way. Life is getting on my nerves, but it seems to be worst with Rob. Point blank prayer, “God, I’m tired of being annoyed. Help me find the joy in Rob.” Immediate thought: Get a journal and start writing every good point and all the things that make you thankful about Rob. Then do the same about the children. And do the same about your friends, and then write them notes telling them.
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!
I thought about it, and I think I have journals that will work for that, and I was sure I had note cards, and I was excited. The Lord had answered my prayers, and IMMEDIATELY! How great is our God!!!
And I got up and went in the house where children were hungry, schedules had to be met, and life took over, and the journal was left where it was, and subsequently, so were my emotions, thoughts, and mood.
At the end of the day yesterday, I had a stress head ache that was trying to turn into a migraine. My muscles were so tight that moving at all was painful. If it hadn’t hurt so much, I would have cried. I replayed the day and sunk even deeper. I talked to Rob about the fact that emotionally I was whipped. Physically, I was stressed to extremes. Mentally, I was battered with feelings of failure since I couldn’t snap out of it. As I lay down, I again prayed, “God, help me. I can’t do this.”
First thing this morning, I did a morning no-no. I pulled out my computer and decided to visit some favorite blogs. I visited Paula’s first because I had seen that she posted a new entry yesterday, but I didn’t have time to read it last night. Let me say, God speaks through Paula. Her whole post was on joy, and one of the comments from SharonB said “Joy…it is a choice of obedience”.
And I sat there with tears feeling overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. He had answered my question two mornings in a row, and not once did He roll His eyes or say, “If you’d just have listened yesterday…” No. He just said, “Let’s try again, Jer,” and this time, I got it. In fact, I am recording it as part of my testimony, and you can be my witnesses. God is faithful, and there is joy in the journey.
So keeping with the Fifteen Joyous Things in my Life:
In my last post, which was rather here and there because I was trying to keep it abbreviated and give the Cliff’s Notes version of life rather than the novelette, the overriding tone was depressed. I admit it. I have been battling a rather significant depression for several weeks, and I have done all the right things to work through it, but yesterday it became apparent that I was still struggling.
Yesterday morning I sat on my deck as I had my quiet time and poured my heart out to the Lord. I didn’t realize the depth of sadness and hurt over some things until I began to weep as I prayed. One of my honest prayers was simply, “Lord, I need out of this pit, and I am lost as to how to get out. Please reach in and get me.”
One area that has been hard lately is marriage. We are in a season of change and growth, which is great, and I know God is doing good things. Right now, though, there is uneven personal growth between Rob and me, and that is hard. We are also entering into a new season with our children as they reach a different level of independence, and all the changes often leave me feeling like I am on a boat in the middle of a lake in a huge storm wondering if the Guy sleeping in the bottom of the boat is aware of the situation or if He needs me to help Him grasp the reality of it all. While I know He isn’t sleeping and He does know, I have moments when the trip still makes me sea sick, and jumping ship seems to have some significant perks.
Lots of lovely imagery, eh? Well, let me put it simply: it seems that everything the Man of my Dreams has been doing lately is getting on my nerves. His very presence can be aggravating, and it isn’t just him. The children are the same way. Friends are the same way. Life is getting on my nerves, but it seems to be worst with Rob. Point blank prayer, “God, I’m tired of being annoyed. Help me find the joy in Rob.” Immediate thought: Get a journal and start writing every good point and all the things that make you thankful about Rob. Then do the same about the children. And do the same about your friends, and then write them notes telling them.
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!
I thought about it, and I think I have journals that will work for that, and I was sure I had note cards, and I was excited. The Lord had answered my prayers, and IMMEDIATELY! How great is our God!!!
And I got up and went in the house where children were hungry, schedules had to be met, and life took over, and the journal was left where it was, and subsequently, so were my emotions, thoughts, and mood.
At the end of the day yesterday, I had a stress head ache that was trying to turn into a migraine. My muscles were so tight that moving at all was painful. If it hadn’t hurt so much, I would have cried. I replayed the day and sunk even deeper. I talked to Rob about the fact that emotionally I was whipped. Physically, I was stressed to extremes. Mentally, I was battered with feelings of failure since I couldn’t snap out of it. As I lay down, I again prayed, “God, help me. I can’t do this.”
First thing this morning, I did a morning no-no. I pulled out my computer and decided to visit some favorite blogs. I visited Paula’s first because I had seen that she posted a new entry yesterday, but I didn’t have time to read it last night. Let me say, God speaks through Paula. Her whole post was on joy, and one of the comments from SharonB said “Joy…it is a choice of obedience”.
And I sat there with tears feeling overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. He had answered my question two mornings in a row, and not once did He roll His eyes or say, “If you’d just have listened yesterday…” No. He just said, “Let’s try again, Jer,” and this time, I got it. In fact, I am recording it as part of my testimony, and you can be my witnesses. God is faithful, and there is joy in the journey.
So keeping with the Fifteen Joyous Things in my Life:
- My family enjoying each other. I love hearing Rob and the children playing and laughing and being silly. It is great and wonderful joy.
- Walks on the beach at sunrise with the children. That started about three years ago for us. I was going to take a walk by myself, but my daughter wanted to come, and I was afraid she’d wake Rob up if she didn’t. The next morning my son wanted to come. At first, I was annoyed because I wanted my time. In retrospect, those walks are the highlight of the beach and treasured memories.
- Mornings. The first thing each child does is find me and hug or snuggle me and tell me how much they love me and how thankful they are. I tell them the same. That is pure gold.
- Doing dishes with Rob.
- The smell of fresh cut hay.
- Reaching over in the night and patting Rob. Missing him when he has to travel.
- Get the Thing. It’s perfectly clean dirty fun.
- Friends who see me as I want to be and courageous speak life into that desire even when I seem to be very different from that.
- Rain.
- My photography when I see God’s hand in it and the picture is just right.
- Receiving emails from our soldiers that we support.
- Naps with Fred on the big bed.
- Encouraging other people.
- My mom, step-dad, and brother, getting together with them and playing games.
- Talk time with the children.
- Knowing I have a purpose and the Lord will fulfill it for His glory. I didn’t always know that or trust that, so this is a source of great excitement and joy for me.
I considered putting the “right” answers such as breathing, having food, having a home. You know, I have those all the time, praise the Lord, and too often, I am not very joyful. I find more and more that my joy centers around a few areas: my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with people who are important to me, my faith in God to care of me and my needs, and my value in Him. How those things manifest are different from day to day. All in all, though, the things that make my heart stop, breathe deeply, and feel full remain the same, and often, they are always there. I just have to stop and cultivate them.
Now, I need to go find that journal and start making my list.
Praying you recognize and cultivate the joy of God in your life…
And while you are at it, leave a comment telling me what makes you joyful. And, Iona, beloved friend who always brings me joy, you are tagged.
8/01/2007
I am
For the last several weeks, I’ve been in a rather intense battle. In John 10:10 Jesus says that the enemy comes to steal kill and destroy. In contrast, Jesus comes to give life in abundance. While there is a spiritual war that we don’t often see, I have experienced the intense physical manifestations of this war, and it has been painful and joyous and overwhelming and freeing.
As I have watched this battle and experienced the personal blows, I have run the gamut of emotions from been heart sore to being ecstatic. I’ve also been ashamed and afraid, which the enemy wants because when we are ashamed or afraid, we cave up and close ourselves off. We become easy targets because while he is telling us all the lies, we have no one to counter with Truth. Well, my friends, I am here to tell you the Truth.
I have found that all warfare is mental. Sickness can be hard, but the big toll is on the mental state of a person. How well a person heals or not is directly related to positive mental health. If the enemy wants to take us out, he has to attack us mentally, and he does it in a myriad of ways. And he has a favorite time to attack you, too—when you are making progress.
At the beginning of the summer, a lot of wonderful things happened for me all at once. My pictures were published. I was asked to write an article for a women’s magazine. I had lunch with a group of talented, beautiful women who were the Lord’s voice of love and acceptance over me. I was preparing curriculum on identity to teach a women’s group this fall. My children were doing great, and I was feeling great about home school. I had even been given the “job” of photography a major women’s conference for our church’s magazine, and that was HUGE to me.
Wonderful things were happening, and the Lord was giving so much revelation for home school and the women’s group. I woke up waiting to see what gift I got to open that day knowing I was going to be lavished with something for the simple reason God loved me and loves to lavish His children with wonderful gifts.
Then, something happened. I started getting the hard gifts. Some of you know what I mean. They are the gifts that you love in retrospect, but cause deep heart ache when you are opening them. I got a series of those, and I did what I always do. I toughed it out.
I prayed in the morning. I prayed during the day. I remembered scripture. I remembered words the Lord had spoken to and over me. I knew what to do, except it didn’t work. Instead of coming up, I cratered.
Now, I’m not the first to crater. David cratered when he gazed at Bathsheba. Peter cratered when the rooster crowed. Thomas cratered when he dared someone to show him the holes in Jesus’ hands so he could stick his finger through them. I’m in good company.
One of the things all of them knew, though, was the gift of God’s Truth. It’s the gift that says God, not the crater, gets to define us.
David is the man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14). Peter walked in so much power that people upon whom his shadow fell were healed (Acts 5:14-15). Thomas was undaunted when he declared Jesus as “my Lord and my God (John 20:28).
These men cratered, but that crater did not define them or determine their destinies. Those craters only make their testimonies more powerful and lend hope to those who come after them. These men had destinies of power because the Lord declared that over them. They had divine purpose, and as long as they receive that, they could not fail.
In the last few weeks, I have struggled with questions. I have struggled with failure, and I have struggled with shame. The enemy has brought up things from my childhood and my less than godly adolescence to throw at me and show me “who I am”. He has worked hard to kill my hopes, vision, dreams, faith, and identity because he wants to steal my destiny and destroy God’s power and glory in me.
One he other hand, there has been my Savior declaring that I am free, forgiven, and purposed. I have been deliberately chosen because of my strengths and weaknesses to accomplish great things for the kingdom, and He has blessed me with wonderful people who speak life into me daily.
Saturday was an amazing series of people and circumstances declaring God’s glory, love, and joy over me, and it was water to my soul. Talk about rivers in the desert. I danced and played in that river, and it was glorious.
Then today came.
One of the things about being in the company of folks like David, Peter, and Thomas is that you have to take the good with the bad. David is often remembered for his adultery more than his worship. Peter is known for sinking in the ocean more than walking on it. Thomas is know for being a doubter instead of a declarer. And today, I had my share of folks who obviously don’t think I am that special either.
I shared a personal prayer request with people I felt were safe, and one person blasted me and told me I wasn’t looking at it from God’s perspective and I didn’t have faith. I was too concerned about relationships and not enough about God’s view. I needed to pull it together and be a real Christian. Until then, I was a disappointment, and she had nothing to say.
Another person called to confirm our lunch Thursday. I am unable to meet for lunch near her home thirty minutes away, and then she told me what an inconvenience it was for her, and if she had known that, she would have come by yesterday when she was five minutes from my house anyway. There are two facts that I should mention: 1) I told her a week ago I couldn’t meet this week. 2) She has done this a number of times before. To me, it simply says she doesn’t think I am important enough to remember.
Then there were a few other significant people who did things that said I wasn’t important to them either.
Consciously, I don’t think any of them meant to convey that, but they didn’t consciously make effort not to convey it either. The enemy of course jumped right it with a great big, “See how unimportant you are. You aren’t valuable. People who claim to be your friend don’t care about you. You aren’t their effort. You aren’t worth remembering. You are worth the time. You are unimportant and worthless.”
And I won’t lie to you. The actions and words of those people hurt, and I spent way too much time stewing over them and giving my energy to these lies and acts of rejection. I wouldn’t be past the sting of one hit before another came. Then I was ashamed for letting these stupid things hurt me, and then fear hit me. Can I come out of this?
The answer is yes, but only with God’s Truth.
I received another response to the personal prayer request which started, “Thank you for trusting me with your heart.” She then shared about important people in her life and the lives of her sons who walked with them and carried them when her husband was killed in a car wreck two years ago.
I read a beautiful post written by Ben Powell whose son Ethan is a miracle of God’s healing power. You have to read the story to realize how truly miraculous Ethan’s life is. In this post, Ben talked about the people who had helped him and his wife walk through Ethan’s illness from the initial diagnosis in February to today. He shared the glorious blessing of relationships and how valuable support is.
Then there were phone calls and emails and God just loving on me in so many ways that said, “You ARE important. You ARE worth my time. You ARE mine.”
And as I write this incredibly lengthy post, that is where I am. That is WHO I am.
I am important.
I am worth God’s time.
I am forgiven.
I am loved.
I am chosen.
I am created with purpose.
I am beautiful.
I am free.
I am His.
He said so, and THAT, not what others say or how they treat me, is what defines me. What God says is the declaration of my value, my identity, and my destiny. You know why? Because God says, “I AM,” and therefore, I am.
Blessings on who you are according to I AM…
Copyright Jerri Phillips @ 2007
As I have watched this battle and experienced the personal blows, I have run the gamut of emotions from been heart sore to being ecstatic. I’ve also been ashamed and afraid, which the enemy wants because when we are ashamed or afraid, we cave up and close ourselves off. We become easy targets because while he is telling us all the lies, we have no one to counter with Truth. Well, my friends, I am here to tell you the Truth.
I have found that all warfare is mental. Sickness can be hard, but the big toll is on the mental state of a person. How well a person heals or not is directly related to positive mental health. If the enemy wants to take us out, he has to attack us mentally, and he does it in a myriad of ways. And he has a favorite time to attack you, too—when you are making progress.
At the beginning of the summer, a lot of wonderful things happened for me all at once. My pictures were published. I was asked to write an article for a women’s magazine. I had lunch with a group of talented, beautiful women who were the Lord’s voice of love and acceptance over me. I was preparing curriculum on identity to teach a women’s group this fall. My children were doing great, and I was feeling great about home school. I had even been given the “job” of photography a major women’s conference for our church’s magazine, and that was HUGE to me.
Wonderful things were happening, and the Lord was giving so much revelation for home school and the women’s group. I woke up waiting to see what gift I got to open that day knowing I was going to be lavished with something for the simple reason God loved me and loves to lavish His children with wonderful gifts.
Then, something happened. I started getting the hard gifts. Some of you know what I mean. They are the gifts that you love in retrospect, but cause deep heart ache when you are opening them. I got a series of those, and I did what I always do. I toughed it out.
I prayed in the morning. I prayed during the day. I remembered scripture. I remembered words the Lord had spoken to and over me. I knew what to do, except it didn’t work. Instead of coming up, I cratered.
Now, I’m not the first to crater. David cratered when he gazed at Bathsheba. Peter cratered when the rooster crowed. Thomas cratered when he dared someone to show him the holes in Jesus’ hands so he could stick his finger through them. I’m in good company.
One of the things all of them knew, though, was the gift of God’s Truth. It’s the gift that says God, not the crater, gets to define us.
David is the man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14). Peter walked in so much power that people upon whom his shadow fell were healed (Acts 5:14-15). Thomas was undaunted when he declared Jesus as “my Lord and my God (John 20:28).
These men cratered, but that crater did not define them or determine their destinies. Those craters only make their testimonies more powerful and lend hope to those who come after them. These men had destinies of power because the Lord declared that over them. They had divine purpose, and as long as they receive that, they could not fail.
In the last few weeks, I have struggled with questions. I have struggled with failure, and I have struggled with shame. The enemy has brought up things from my childhood and my less than godly adolescence to throw at me and show me “who I am”. He has worked hard to kill my hopes, vision, dreams, faith, and identity because he wants to steal my destiny and destroy God’s power and glory in me.
One he other hand, there has been my Savior declaring that I am free, forgiven, and purposed. I have been deliberately chosen because of my strengths and weaknesses to accomplish great things for the kingdom, and He has blessed me with wonderful people who speak life into me daily.
Saturday was an amazing series of people and circumstances declaring God’s glory, love, and joy over me, and it was water to my soul. Talk about rivers in the desert. I danced and played in that river, and it was glorious.
Then today came.
One of the things about being in the company of folks like David, Peter, and Thomas is that you have to take the good with the bad. David is often remembered for his adultery more than his worship. Peter is known for sinking in the ocean more than walking on it. Thomas is know for being a doubter instead of a declarer. And today, I had my share of folks who obviously don’t think I am that special either.
I shared a personal prayer request with people I felt were safe, and one person blasted me and told me I wasn’t looking at it from God’s perspective and I didn’t have faith. I was too concerned about relationships and not enough about God’s view. I needed to pull it together and be a real Christian. Until then, I was a disappointment, and she had nothing to say.
Another person called to confirm our lunch Thursday. I am unable to meet for lunch near her home thirty minutes away, and then she told me what an inconvenience it was for her, and if she had known that, she would have come by yesterday when she was five minutes from my house anyway. There are two facts that I should mention: 1) I told her a week ago I couldn’t meet this week. 2) She has done this a number of times before. To me, it simply says she doesn’t think I am important enough to remember.
Then there were a few other significant people who did things that said I wasn’t important to them either.
Consciously, I don’t think any of them meant to convey that, but they didn’t consciously make effort not to convey it either. The enemy of course jumped right it with a great big, “See how unimportant you are. You aren’t valuable. People who claim to be your friend don’t care about you. You aren’t their effort. You aren’t worth remembering. You are worth the time. You are unimportant and worthless.”
And I won’t lie to you. The actions and words of those people hurt, and I spent way too much time stewing over them and giving my energy to these lies and acts of rejection. I wouldn’t be past the sting of one hit before another came. Then I was ashamed for letting these stupid things hurt me, and then fear hit me. Can I come out of this?
The answer is yes, but only with God’s Truth.
I received another response to the personal prayer request which started, “Thank you for trusting me with your heart.” She then shared about important people in her life and the lives of her sons who walked with them and carried them when her husband was killed in a car wreck two years ago.
I read a beautiful post written by Ben Powell whose son Ethan is a miracle of God’s healing power. You have to read the story to realize how truly miraculous Ethan’s life is. In this post, Ben talked about the people who had helped him and his wife walk through Ethan’s illness from the initial diagnosis in February to today. He shared the glorious blessing of relationships and how valuable support is.
Then there were phone calls and emails and God just loving on me in so many ways that said, “You ARE important. You ARE worth my time. You ARE mine.”
And as I write this incredibly lengthy post, that is where I am. That is WHO I am.
I am important.
I am worth God’s time.
I am forgiven.
I am loved.
I am chosen.
I am created with purpose.
I am beautiful.
I am free.
I am His.
He said so, and THAT, not what others say or how they treat me, is what defines me. What God says is the declaration of my value, my identity, and my destiny. You know why? Because God says, “I AM,” and therefore, I am.
Blessings on who you are according to I AM…
Copyright Jerri Phillips @ 2007
7/16/2007
2nd Cup of Coffee and Other Favorite Treats
I have to tell you about a new blog spot I have found where I like to hang out. 2nd Cup of Coffee is now one of my favorite places to visit. Your hostess at this little coffee bar is Linda, and she serves up all kinds of stuff to make you feel good.
Seriously, all coffee cliches aside, I found Linda's blog one night when I was tired from being up with sick children, and I had taken some emotion stabs. I needed a "feel better", and I followed blog connections to Linda's site, and it was exactly what I needed. I laughed until I had tears. I don't know how to really describe Linda's writing, except to tell you that when I read her work, I think, "This woman is truly comfortable in her own skin." I think what I really love is that she takes life for what it is and has fun with it, AND she lets the rest of us come along. There is nowhere else where you can laugh so hard about bloody pedicures, badly fitting shoes, and a dog's exploding butt. I'm telling you. You just have to visit to understand. Oh, and I can't do the bellybutton lint service, so I won't try. Go read it yourself.
As I said, it is one of my favorite blogspots, and I wholeheartedly suggest it for others who need a good solid "feel better".
And while I am bringing up favorite blogs, let me revisit two others:
Iona is a precious friend who did the beautiful web design for Jerri's Munchies, my site for the devotionals I did when I had smaller children and more time. Iona is genuine, loving, and inspirational. She always amazes me. Even on her everyday stuff, I find encouragement and a smile. Check her out. I think it'll bless you, too.
Paula is a bit hard to describe. She's an amazing writer, but her blog is far more than that. It is real in a way that most of us can relate to, and I think that is the most endearing aspect to me. She also writes a wonderful devotional that you can have delivered to your email. Check out her home site, Soul Scents, and read previous devotionals and sign up for future ones.
Two other sites I want to suggest. One is Let's Say Thanks. This site has several postcard designs you can choose, and then you add a note already provided or one you choose to write. The notes are then printed and shipped to soldiers around the world. There is no limit to how many you can send, and the it is so appreciated by the troops.
The other site is Any Soldier. This site provides information on hundreds of soldiers who can use support from folks here. While you can find information about care packages, that is not the focus for the soldiers. On the contrary, the simple act of writing a letter or sending a postcard is greatly appreciated. To quote one of our soldiers in a unit we send letters and packages to, "Your packages are great, but we love your letters. We post them on the board so everyone can read them when they get time. You don't know how much they mean." That says it all.
So there are some of my favorite places to visit on the web. I hope you enjoy!
Seriously, all coffee cliches aside, I found Linda's blog one night when I was tired from being up with sick children, and I had taken some emotion stabs. I needed a "feel better", and I followed blog connections to Linda's site, and it was exactly what I needed. I laughed until I had tears. I don't know how to really describe Linda's writing, except to tell you that when I read her work, I think, "This woman is truly comfortable in her own skin." I think what I really love is that she takes life for what it is and has fun with it, AND she lets the rest of us come along. There is nowhere else where you can laugh so hard about bloody pedicures, badly fitting shoes, and a dog's exploding butt. I'm telling you. You just have to visit to understand. Oh, and I can't do the bellybutton lint service, so I won't try. Go read it yourself.
As I said, it is one of my favorite blogspots, and I wholeheartedly suggest it for others who need a good solid "feel better".
And while I am bringing up favorite blogs, let me revisit two others:
Iona is a precious friend who did the beautiful web design for Jerri's Munchies, my site for the devotionals I did when I had smaller children and more time. Iona is genuine, loving, and inspirational. She always amazes me. Even on her everyday stuff, I find encouragement and a smile. Check her out. I think it'll bless you, too.
Paula is a bit hard to describe. She's an amazing writer, but her blog is far more than that. It is real in a way that most of us can relate to, and I think that is the most endearing aspect to me. She also writes a wonderful devotional that you can have delivered to your email. Check out her home site, Soul Scents, and read previous devotionals and sign up for future ones.
Two other sites I want to suggest. One is Let's Say Thanks. This site has several postcard designs you can choose, and then you add a note already provided or one you choose to write. The notes are then printed and shipped to soldiers around the world. There is no limit to how many you can send, and the it is so appreciated by the troops.
The other site is Any Soldier. This site provides information on hundreds of soldiers who can use support from folks here. While you can find information about care packages, that is not the focus for the soldiers. On the contrary, the simple act of writing a letter or sending a postcard is greatly appreciated. To quote one of our soldiers in a unit we send letters and packages to, "Your packages are great, but we love your letters. We post them on the board so everyone can read them when they get time. You don't know how much they mean." That says it all.
So there are some of my favorite places to visit on the web. I hope you enjoy!
7/05/2007
Infant Remembrance
I have tried to figure out an eloquent way to write this up. I want it to be reverent as it should be. In no way, do I want it to sound casual, and yet, so much of the topic is simply beyond what my words cannot address. This is a topic dear to me heart, and I keep fumbling over words—and emotions. So much so that I have avoided writing this for nearly a month, but it is something I want to tell you about. Perhaps it’ll be healing to someone you know as well.
On June 4, 2007, a family close to us celebrated the entrance of a beautiful little boy into this world. A few hours later, they had to say goodbye. That night about midnight Joe Young slipped quietly into the hospital with his equipment and used his camera to create photographic masterpieces of this tiny Treasure, and then he gave them to the family—all without cost—all invaluable.
Mr. Young is part of the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, which provides professional photography for families coping with the grief of losing a baby. I have visited their site. It is stunningly beautiful. I fully believe in the healing power of what they are doing, and I wanted to share their information with you.
The following is from their website:
“Pregnancy and birth are a miraculous journey. This amazing time of life is full of mystery, anticipation, joy, hope, and wonder. Feeling the powerful energy of birth and new life, watching as a new family is born unto each other. These things humble and amaze. These are the things that we celebrate when a baby is born.
But there is another aspect of pregnancy and birth. There is an unexpected place in this journey where some families may find themselves. When a baby dies, a world is turned upside down. There is confusion, sadness, fear, and uncertainty that cannot be explained. There is sorrow where there should have been joy. During this time, it might be impossible for families to know what they might need in order to heal in the future.
This is the place where NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP gently provides a helping hand and a healing heart. NOW offers a vital service to our community. For families overcome by grief and pain, the idea of photographing their baby may not immediately occur to them. Offering gentle and beautiful photography and videography services in a compassionate and sensitive manner is the heart of this organization. The soft, gentle heirloom photographs of these beautiful babies are an important part of the healing process. They allow families to honor and cherish their babies, and share the spirits of their lives.”
On June 4, 2007, a family close to us celebrated the entrance of a beautiful little boy into this world. A few hours later, they had to say goodbye. That night about midnight Joe Young slipped quietly into the hospital with his equipment and used his camera to create photographic masterpieces of this tiny Treasure, and then he gave them to the family—all without cost—all invaluable.
Mr. Young is part of the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, which provides professional photography for families coping with the grief of losing a baby. I have visited their site. It is stunningly beautiful. I fully believe in the healing power of what they are doing, and I wanted to share their information with you.
The following is from their website:
“Pregnancy and birth are a miraculous journey. This amazing time of life is full of mystery, anticipation, joy, hope, and wonder. Feeling the powerful energy of birth and new life, watching as a new family is born unto each other. These things humble and amaze. These are the things that we celebrate when a baby is born.
But there is another aspect of pregnancy and birth. There is an unexpected place in this journey where some families may find themselves. When a baby dies, a world is turned upside down. There is confusion, sadness, fear, and uncertainty that cannot be explained. There is sorrow where there should have been joy. During this time, it might be impossible for families to know what they might need in order to heal in the future.
This is the place where NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP gently provides a helping hand and a healing heart. NOW offers a vital service to our community. For families overcome by grief and pain, the idea of photographing their baby may not immediately occur to them. Offering gentle and beautiful photography and videography services in a compassionate and sensitive manner is the heart of this organization. The soft, gentle heirloom photographs of these beautiful babies are an important part of the healing process. They allow families to honor and cherish their babies, and share the spirits of their lives.”
6/30/2007
Caring Unapologetically
As I sit in my recliner writing this, my son sleeps restlessly on the couch less than four feet away. For the past four days he has been battling a flu-like virus, and for the last 30 hours or so, it has manifested in severe congestion in his sinuses. We know this is the last stage since our daughter endured the same nasty bug last week. We also know in some ways, this is the hardest stage.
Acetaminophen and ibuprofen give a good defense against the fever and headache. Lying still helps with the tummy ache, but the congestion is just a beast. Vaporizers, decongestants, and loads of waters don’t make much difference at all. If he lies down, he coughs and gags because the junk settles in his throat, so we keep him propped up, and it is easier to do that on the couch than in his bed. Plus, it is easier for one of us to be close to him this way as well.
During the two week stint of this virus’ rampage in our home, Rob and I have taken turns staying up with the children. Because their temperatures shot up to 103-104 without medicine, one of us would set an alarm and get up to give them medicine when it was needed. When little muscles and joints ached because of the high fever, we’d rub them. We placed cool washcloths on foreheads, and we kept water bottles readily available.
We have become aware of breathing changes, even quiet moans, and body movement. We have figured out which moans meant muscles ached and which moans meant we better have a trashcan ready. Even in our sleep, we are aware of these things and quickly respond to the need of the moment.
Thankfully, we have the ability to tag-team. After supper, I lay down and napped while Rob cared for the children. Now, I am taking the first shift of the night while he sleeps. If need be, I’ll wake him up later, and he’ll take over.
Granted, some of you might be wondering why we are “hovering”, and some of you may think our attention is excessive. You are certainly entitled to think that way, and I won’t tell you that you are wrong. However, one thing I have learned in my journey as a person and as a parent is that people usually have reasons for what they do, whether you agree or not. In my case, yes, I do fuss over my children when they are sick. Yes, I most likely am too protective. However, I know what we have gone through as we have dealt with a child who had a habit of going into respiratory distress without warning. For example, one very scary night I woke up and felt prompted to check on Robert. After the fact, it was obvious that it was the Holy Spirit who woke me up, but at the time I almost didn’t get up because a few ladies had taken it upon themselves to tell me I was overprotective and needed to quit fussing over my children so much. Instead of lying back down, I figured those women weren’t there to know, so I went into Robert’s room to find his lips and mouth blue and in distress to the point he could not make sound.
Maybe I am more fussy than most mothers. I don't know. What I know is my children. I know where we've been, and I know what we've endured. I am extremely protective, and I won't apologize for it.
And besides, I think we are teaching our children something important. Our actions tell our children, “You can depend on us. We are watching out for you.” More than that, I think we are saying, “Because we represent God to you, we want our actions to clearly say you can depend on Him. He is watching out for you.”
The Bible says we can cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. If our sitting in this recliner or dosing on the floor teaches our children that they can sleep when they are sick because they know we’ll be there if they need us, then it’s worth it because some day they will have to do something that tests their trust in God whether it be a move for business, a broken relationship, sickness, whatever. Something will come when they need to know they can trust God to care for them, and Rob and I will be able to say, “Do you remember when you were little and you would get sick? We would lie with you or put you on the couch and we’d sleep in the recliner or on the floor?” They’ll nod, and we’ll say, “We were so aware of your needs. Remember how we had water for you, gave you medicine, made sure there were crackers where you could reach them? Remember how we uncovered you when you were hot and wrapped you up when you were cold?” They’ll nod again, and we’ll say, “We did all that because we love you. We cared about you and cared about your comfort and health. We cared that you could rest. We cared about how you felt. We did those things because we love you, and you know what? God loves you even more.
“He is even more aware of your needs. He is everything you need, and where we could only wish to help, He can completely help. When we had to sleep or leave your side for a moment, He never leaves you. When we would get fatigued and frustrated, He is always patient and kind. He says you can cast every care and concern on Him because He cares for you. Whatever is bothering you, He will give you the attention we gave you and more. The comfort you found in knowing we were there, you can find in knowing He is there.”
Yeah, we might be a bit obsessive, but we’ve had a good example. I pray we reflect Him well enough for our children to see that.
May you be aware of the caring presence of the Lord in whatever is making you ache as well.
Copyright Jerri Phillips @ 2007
Acetaminophen and ibuprofen give a good defense against the fever and headache. Lying still helps with the tummy ache, but the congestion is just a beast. Vaporizers, decongestants, and loads of waters don’t make much difference at all. If he lies down, he coughs and gags because the junk settles in his throat, so we keep him propped up, and it is easier to do that on the couch than in his bed. Plus, it is easier for one of us to be close to him this way as well.
During the two week stint of this virus’ rampage in our home, Rob and I have taken turns staying up with the children. Because their temperatures shot up to 103-104 without medicine, one of us would set an alarm and get up to give them medicine when it was needed. When little muscles and joints ached because of the high fever, we’d rub them. We placed cool washcloths on foreheads, and we kept water bottles readily available.
We have become aware of breathing changes, even quiet moans, and body movement. We have figured out which moans meant muscles ached and which moans meant we better have a trashcan ready. Even in our sleep, we are aware of these things and quickly respond to the need of the moment.
Thankfully, we have the ability to tag-team. After supper, I lay down and napped while Rob cared for the children. Now, I am taking the first shift of the night while he sleeps. If need be, I’ll wake him up later, and he’ll take over.
Granted, some of you might be wondering why we are “hovering”, and some of you may think our attention is excessive. You are certainly entitled to think that way, and I won’t tell you that you are wrong. However, one thing I have learned in my journey as a person and as a parent is that people usually have reasons for what they do, whether you agree or not. In my case, yes, I do fuss over my children when they are sick. Yes, I most likely am too protective. However, I know what we have gone through as we have dealt with a child who had a habit of going into respiratory distress without warning. For example, one very scary night I woke up and felt prompted to check on Robert. After the fact, it was obvious that it was the Holy Spirit who woke me up, but at the time I almost didn’t get up because a few ladies had taken it upon themselves to tell me I was overprotective and needed to quit fussing over my children so much. Instead of lying back down, I figured those women weren’t there to know, so I went into Robert’s room to find his lips and mouth blue and in distress to the point he could not make sound.
Maybe I am more fussy than most mothers. I don't know. What I know is my children. I know where we've been, and I know what we've endured. I am extremely protective, and I won't apologize for it.
And besides, I think we are teaching our children something important. Our actions tell our children, “You can depend on us. We are watching out for you.” More than that, I think we are saying, “Because we represent God to you, we want our actions to clearly say you can depend on Him. He is watching out for you.”
The Bible says we can cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. If our sitting in this recliner or dosing on the floor teaches our children that they can sleep when they are sick because they know we’ll be there if they need us, then it’s worth it because some day they will have to do something that tests their trust in God whether it be a move for business, a broken relationship, sickness, whatever. Something will come when they need to know they can trust God to care for them, and Rob and I will be able to say, “Do you remember when you were little and you would get sick? We would lie with you or put you on the couch and we’d sleep in the recliner or on the floor?” They’ll nod, and we’ll say, “We were so aware of your needs. Remember how we had water for you, gave you medicine, made sure there were crackers where you could reach them? Remember how we uncovered you when you were hot and wrapped you up when you were cold?” They’ll nod again, and we’ll say, “We did all that because we love you. We cared about you and cared about your comfort and health. We cared that you could rest. We cared about how you felt. We did those things because we love you, and you know what? God loves you even more.
“He is even more aware of your needs. He is everything you need, and where we could only wish to help, He can completely help. When we had to sleep or leave your side for a moment, He never leaves you. When we would get fatigued and frustrated, He is always patient and kind. He says you can cast every care and concern on Him because He cares for you. Whatever is bothering you, He will give you the attention we gave you and more. The comfort you found in knowing we were there, you can find in knowing He is there.”
Yeah, we might be a bit obsessive, but we’ve had a good example. I pray we reflect Him well enough for our children to see that.
May you be aware of the caring presence of the Lord in whatever is making you ache as well.
Copyright Jerri Phillips @ 2007
6/28/2007
Real Life
It has been nearly two weeks since I posted last, and that bothers me. I try to post weekly. I would like to post 2 or 3 times a week, but that is unrealistic considering my life right now, and that is okay. Right now, my life centers around my home and children, and I like that. At one time I didn’t think I would, but I do.
In fact, as I type this, my beloved children are cutting fabric scraps of all sizes and sewing things in order to make clothes for their stuffed animals. After 2 hours in uncomfortable dining room chairs, I had to take a break, but they are out there plugging away.
Today was supposed to be cleaning day, but I have nothing to convince me that a clean bedroom floor is more important than the creative actions going on in my sunroom right now. Besides, Anna is teaching Robert what she knows, and he is listening, and they are talking-bonding. They are being best friends, and that is a relationship I want to encourage.
So my day is blessed with the joy of sewing, laughing, and learning with the two coolest little folks I know. As a mom, it doesn’t get any better than this.
I sometimes forget how good days like this can be. I’m not one who tends to enjoy sitting. In fact, sitting often induces stress for me, but for two weeks now, the Lord has been reinforcing the joy of still. Well, “still” takes on different meanings, I guess.
Last week Anna came down with a flu-like virus that kept us homebound for the week. This week, Robert has it. We have all battled cabin fever at different times. I probably battled most of all. I have grown a bit tired of Uno, and if I have to watch a particular movie about a mouse being shoved down a toilet again, I may develop a tic.
However, I just fixed a hat for a Chihuahua, thus, allowing my son to know he is not a failure as a designer. He just has to learn how to improvise a bit. I’ve also kept my daughter from tears by being the one to put that giant string of thread through the tiny hole in the needle. Those holes were much bigger when I was younger. And from the reaction of both, you would think I had just saved mankind from some torturous extinction via sewing pins and scissors. I am quite sure I get the “Mommy of the Day Award”, and for such simple things.
The big thing, though, is that I did them. More than that, I made time to do them. Case in point, this paragraph, as it stands right now, has been a 10-minute effort, but during those 10 minutes, my son showed me his fun clothes dance, and I got to see a stuffed dog do some rather funny tricks. He’s really good at playing dead.
Once a lovely lady told me days when the children are ill are great days to do a deep cleaning on the house. It wasn’t until I quit laughing that I realized she was serious.
Deep cleaning on sick days is not my M.O. I have done some cleaning such as laundry and dishes, but beyond that, why bother? There are blankets on every surface where a small child with a 103 fever might want to lie down and curl up in order to feel warmer due to chills. Toys that were highly entertaining until the queasy wave hit are scattered here and there, but because they are often revisited once the wave has passed, I see no point in picking them up. No, I figure when the temperatures are normal and the tummies are settled, the clutter can be picked up and properly placed. For now, it is kind of nice to enjoy low-key children who want to sit, color, paint, sew, or watch TV…or even just snuggle and talk.
I have to say, this isn’t the life I dreamed of. It’s a lot better than any dream I ever had. Really.
Copyright Jerri Phillips @ 2007
In fact, as I type this, my beloved children are cutting fabric scraps of all sizes and sewing things in order to make clothes for their stuffed animals. After 2 hours in uncomfortable dining room chairs, I had to take a break, but they are out there plugging away.
Today was supposed to be cleaning day, but I have nothing to convince me that a clean bedroom floor is more important than the creative actions going on in my sunroom right now. Besides, Anna is teaching Robert what she knows, and he is listening, and they are talking-bonding. They are being best friends, and that is a relationship I want to encourage.
So my day is blessed with the joy of sewing, laughing, and learning with the two coolest little folks I know. As a mom, it doesn’t get any better than this.
I sometimes forget how good days like this can be. I’m not one who tends to enjoy sitting. In fact, sitting often induces stress for me, but for two weeks now, the Lord has been reinforcing the joy of still. Well, “still” takes on different meanings, I guess.
Last week Anna came down with a flu-like virus that kept us homebound for the week. This week, Robert has it. We have all battled cabin fever at different times. I probably battled most of all. I have grown a bit tired of Uno, and if I have to watch a particular movie about a mouse being shoved down a toilet again, I may develop a tic.
However, I just fixed a hat for a Chihuahua, thus, allowing my son to know he is not a failure as a designer. He just has to learn how to improvise a bit. I’ve also kept my daughter from tears by being the one to put that giant string of thread through the tiny hole in the needle. Those holes were much bigger when I was younger. And from the reaction of both, you would think I had just saved mankind from some torturous extinction via sewing pins and scissors. I am quite sure I get the “Mommy of the Day Award”, and for such simple things.
The big thing, though, is that I did them. More than that, I made time to do them. Case in point, this paragraph, as it stands right now, has been a 10-minute effort, but during those 10 minutes, my son showed me his fun clothes dance, and I got to see a stuffed dog do some rather funny tricks. He’s really good at playing dead.
Once a lovely lady told me days when the children are ill are great days to do a deep cleaning on the house. It wasn’t until I quit laughing that I realized she was serious.
Deep cleaning on sick days is not my M.O. I have done some cleaning such as laundry and dishes, but beyond that, why bother? There are blankets on every surface where a small child with a 103 fever might want to lie down and curl up in order to feel warmer due to chills. Toys that were highly entertaining until the queasy wave hit are scattered here and there, but because they are often revisited once the wave has passed, I see no point in picking them up. No, I figure when the temperatures are normal and the tummies are settled, the clutter can be picked up and properly placed. For now, it is kind of nice to enjoy low-key children who want to sit, color, paint, sew, or watch TV…or even just snuggle and talk.
I have to say, this isn’t the life I dreamed of. It’s a lot better than any dream I ever had. Really.
Copyright Jerri Phillips @ 2007
6/16/2007
Missing Pictures
June 16, 2007
Today was our family reunion. Every other year my dad’s family gathers the day before Father’s Day to reconnect and meet new members of the clan. In the past we have done family group pictures. I like looking back at those pictures and remembering precious folks that have been important in my life.
Today we did family pictures. Two years ago when we took those pictures, I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. In fact, my knees buckled, and I had to lean against a table. Today, it was easier, but tears still came. The pictures affect me because of those who are no longer in them. When it was my family’s turn, I suddenly had an incredible sense of being alone.
Today my brother had to work. My mom has remarried, and she and my step-dad felt odd about attending, and my dad is no longer here to attend.
I miss my dad.
I hate that we have these reunions the day before Father’s Day. While I really enjoy my family, there is always an underlying sadness. Father’s Day is tough in and of itself, and the reunion only reminds me of how much is missing.
I know we have hope because of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I know the Father God is our true Father. He is a Father to the fatherless, and I am blessed in that the Lord has given me a wonderful step-dad. I know I am not without or lacking.
I also know I would love to hear my dad laugh again. I would love one more cup of his coffee. I would love to sit with him on the porch and look across the creek bottom and watch the sun come up one more time.
Tonight we took my step-dad out for dinner, and we had a lovely time with him. We always do. Tomorrow we’ll celebrate my husband because he is a great dad.
And the sadness in my heart and feeling of loss will hopefully cause me to take a closer look at what is IN the picture.
I pray your pictures are full of people who bring you joy…even those precious people who are missing.
Today was our family reunion. Every other year my dad’s family gathers the day before Father’s Day to reconnect and meet new members of the clan. In the past we have done family group pictures. I like looking back at those pictures and remembering precious folks that have been important in my life.
Today we did family pictures. Two years ago when we took those pictures, I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. In fact, my knees buckled, and I had to lean against a table. Today, it was easier, but tears still came. The pictures affect me because of those who are no longer in them. When it was my family’s turn, I suddenly had an incredible sense of being alone.
Today my brother had to work. My mom has remarried, and she and my step-dad felt odd about attending, and my dad is no longer here to attend.
I miss my dad.
I hate that we have these reunions the day before Father’s Day. While I really enjoy my family, there is always an underlying sadness. Father’s Day is tough in and of itself, and the reunion only reminds me of how much is missing.
I know we have hope because of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I know the Father God is our true Father. He is a Father to the fatherless, and I am blessed in that the Lord has given me a wonderful step-dad. I know I am not without or lacking.
I also know I would love to hear my dad laugh again. I would love one more cup of his coffee. I would love to sit with him on the porch and look across the creek bottom and watch the sun come up one more time.
Tonight we took my step-dad out for dinner, and we had a lovely time with him. We always do. Tomorrow we’ll celebrate my husband because he is a great dad.
And the sadness in my heart and feeling of loss will hopefully cause me to take a closer look at what is IN the picture.
I pray your pictures are full of people who bring you joy…even those precious people who are missing.
4/05/2007
Other Personal Blog Site
As some of you know, for over a year now, I have been working on getting my personal web site, Passionate Worship, functional. The first step has finally been addressed. WonderMan has set up the personal blog for that site. I will probably still blog here, but if you visit here often, I suggest you try out the new link at
www.passionateworship.net/blog
I expect that blog to be more up to date, and I know how to personalize the links and such. I haven't figured that out here. I hope to see you there, too.
Have a glorious day!!!
www.passionateworship.net/blog
I expect that blog to be more up to date, and I know how to personalize the links and such. I haven't figured that out here. I hope to see you there, too.
Have a glorious day!!!
3/28/2007
Soul Scents
Periodically I fall into something really good, and when I do, I always try to share. Recently I fell into something good for the soul. It's called Soul Scents.
Paula Moldenhauer is a wife, a mother of four, a homeschool mom, a writer, and a passionate worshipper. My kind of gal. The stuff she writes is honest, real, and powerful. AND, she delivers!!! If you don't have time to check a site regularly, she'll send her stuff straight to you, and trust me, it is good food for the soul.
I don't know how I came across Soul Scents, but I'm glad I did, and if you check it out, you'll be glad you did, too.
Blessings!
Paula Moldenhauer is a wife, a mother of four, a homeschool mom, a writer, and a passionate worshipper. My kind of gal. The stuff she writes is honest, real, and powerful. AND, she delivers!!! If you don't have time to check a site regularly, she'll send her stuff straight to you, and trust me, it is good food for the soul.
I don't know how I came across Soul Scents, but I'm glad I did, and if you check it out, you'll be glad you did, too.
Blessings!
3/26/2007
What is and What Could Be
I found this roaming around my draft list. It is so pertinent to where I am right now that I had to share it with you.
The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.- Charles Du Bos
3/23/2007
Thank you FCHN!
I want to thank the wonderful members of FCHN who invited me to share with them about encouragement. I had such a lovely time. The food was delicious, and the fellowship was fantastic. You folks certainly know how to make a gal feel welcome, and I hope to hang out with y'all again soon.
Be blessed!
Be blessed!
3/22/2007
TV Theology
This morning my son invited me to the couch so we could watch some TV together and snuggle. This is prime time, folks, so I followed him into the TV room, and we made ourselves comfy and hit the button on the remote. Nothing.
Huh.
I pushed the "source" button. Nothing.
I turned the DVD player off and rebooted it. Nothing.
I turned the DVR box off and on. Nothing.
Finally, in an act of frustration--there was no desperation but definite frustration--I called WonderMan on his cell phone. Our conversation went something like this:
"The TV won't work."
"Is it on?"
Trying to curb my tone, "Yes."
"Change the source button."
"I did. Nothing."
"Are you sure it is in the right place?" I read the "source" information to him. "Huh. Try the DVD box."
"Turned it off and rebooted it."
"You know you have to reset it."
"There is nothing to reset. There are no words on the screen asking me to pick a language. There is nothing."
"Huh. Have you....?" He told me to do everything I had already done. Then a lightbulb went on. "Is it just black?'
"Yes."
"Then that channel isn't working. Change the channel."
I hit the channel up button, and lo and behold, TV!
I was glad to get the TV going, but I confess, I was a bit annoyed. I'm old enough to remember when we had four channels to watch, and you know what? I never had to call tehnical help to find out how to pull the on/off button out or push it in. I never had to call anyone to find out how to turn the knob to change the channels. It was so much simpler.
Some argue TV is better now because it offers so many options and so much information. Really? Then why do people I talk to complain that they have 100s of channels with nothing to see on them? Seems like it offers a bunch of distractions that encourage us to sit in our comfy spots instead of getting out and getting involved in life. Some call it escape. I tend to think it is hiding, but that is my opinion. Take it for what the Holy Spirit says it is worth.
Personally, simple works for me.
This morning I was sitting in my comfy spot having my quiet time, and I asked the Lord simply, "What do you want to speak to me?" He took me to the last chapter of Matthew. I've read it several times, but I truly believed it was of God so I read it again.
The chapter tells of Jesus being tried, condemned, crucified, buried, and raised again. It tells how He made His resurrection known to people, but some still doubted. It also ends simply: Then Jesus came to them and said, "18 All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Does theology get any easier than that?
--Jesus has all authority.
--Make disciples. Folks need to learn to be like Jesus. thsi step is learning our try identities, becoming who we were truly created to be. We were created for His glory. In being disciples we learn how to glorify the Father.
--Baptizing them. EVERYONE should be baptized. Notice the baptizing comes after the acceptance of Christ.
--Teach them to obey everything I commanded. That sounds daunting, but it isn't. What did Jesus command? Love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our mind and with all our strength and to love our neighbor as ourself. In short, Jesus' command is simple--LOVE!
Too simple? Like a 4-channel TV set? Well, it has the essential information, and it doesn't waste my time on opinion, debates, and unnecessary information. AND it puts the responsibility to act back on me. It doesn't allow me a comfy spot where I can live vicariously through others. It doesn't give me the opportunity to channel surf because I don't like what's on. Instead, it says simply, "Jesus is the one in charge, and He says I am responsible for developing a relationship with God and growing in it. " No place to hide there, is there?
Yep, simple works for me.
Praying the Lord keeps reminding me of the power of simple faith especially when others tell me complicated is better...
Huh.
I pushed the "source" button. Nothing.
I turned the DVD player off and rebooted it. Nothing.
I turned the DVR box off and on. Nothing.
Finally, in an act of frustration--there was no desperation but definite frustration--I called WonderMan on his cell phone. Our conversation went something like this:
"The TV won't work."
"Is it on?"
Trying to curb my tone, "Yes."
"Change the source button."
"I did. Nothing."
"Are you sure it is in the right place?" I read the "source" information to him. "Huh. Try the DVD box."
"Turned it off and rebooted it."
"You know you have to reset it."
"There is nothing to reset. There are no words on the screen asking me to pick a language. There is nothing."
"Huh. Have you....?" He told me to do everything I had already done. Then a lightbulb went on. "Is it just black?'
"Yes."
"Then that channel isn't working. Change the channel."
I hit the channel up button, and lo and behold, TV!
I was glad to get the TV going, but I confess, I was a bit annoyed. I'm old enough to remember when we had four channels to watch, and you know what? I never had to call tehnical help to find out how to pull the on/off button out or push it in. I never had to call anyone to find out how to turn the knob to change the channels. It was so much simpler.
Some argue TV is better now because it offers so many options and so much information. Really? Then why do people I talk to complain that they have 100s of channels with nothing to see on them? Seems like it offers a bunch of distractions that encourage us to sit in our comfy spots instead of getting out and getting involved in life. Some call it escape. I tend to think it is hiding, but that is my opinion. Take it for what the Holy Spirit says it is worth.
Personally, simple works for me.
This morning I was sitting in my comfy spot having my quiet time, and I asked the Lord simply, "What do you want to speak to me?" He took me to the last chapter of Matthew. I've read it several times, but I truly believed it was of God so I read it again.
The chapter tells of Jesus being tried, condemned, crucified, buried, and raised again. It tells how He made His resurrection known to people, but some still doubted. It also ends simply: Then Jesus came to them and said, "18 All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Does theology get any easier than that?
--Jesus has all authority.
--Make disciples. Folks need to learn to be like Jesus. thsi step is learning our try identities, becoming who we were truly created to be. We were created for His glory. In being disciples we learn how to glorify the Father.
--Baptizing them. EVERYONE should be baptized. Notice the baptizing comes after the acceptance of Christ.
--Teach them to obey everything I commanded. That sounds daunting, but it isn't. What did Jesus command? Love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our mind and with all our strength and to love our neighbor as ourself. In short, Jesus' command is simple--LOVE!
Too simple? Like a 4-channel TV set? Well, it has the essential information, and it doesn't waste my time on opinion, debates, and unnecessary information. AND it puts the responsibility to act back on me. It doesn't allow me a comfy spot where I can live vicariously through others. It doesn't give me the opportunity to channel surf because I don't like what's on. Instead, it says simply, "Jesus is the one in charge, and He says I am responsible for developing a relationship with God and growing in it. " No place to hide there, is there?
Yep, simple works for me.
Praying the Lord keeps reminding me of the power of simple faith especially when others tell me complicated is better...
3/18/2007
A Word
I am taking a break. I will be speaking to a group of homeschool parents Thursday night. My topic, which I love, is encouragement. I'll discuss the biblical principle of encouragement, the difference between encouragement and praise, the power of encouragement, the negatives of praise by itself, and how to make encouragement a daily act of ministry.
As I said, I love this topic because it has the power to change a live, and it really takes so little effort.
I have had the opportunity to speak/teach on this topic in the past. I've taught on this in a class series. I've taught onit at a women's breakfast. I've also taught on it at a women's retreat. I'll be honest, the class series was a bust. People really didn't see the need for this skill. Sad. The women's breakfast was a joy. I knew the women. I loved them then and love them now. The one that struck me the most, though, was the women's retreat. It was powerful, and it really had far more to do with God than it did me. I was the vessel, but truly, what happened there was beyond what mortal words could accomplish. When I start thinking my abilities are about me, I always think back to that and remember that God did a work beyond anything I could do.
It has been awhile since I've done public speaking. I still love it. I can't even explain it. It's like taking a deep breath of the purest air imaginable. It really is life within me. Still, there are times when I start to get nervous. After having the chance to teach at length on this topic, I have 45 minutes this week, and I've never been known for being brief. That is a bit unnerving. Plus, there are simply so many things I want to say. I want these parents to understand the power they have to influence their children simply by the words they choose to use. I feel such urgency to present examples and stories and...
It is really easy to get caught up in what I want to convey, what I want them to know, what I want them to understand, so I take a break periodically and stop. I stop and get still and ask, "Lord, what do you want them to hear? What do you want them to know?" It isn't what Jerri says or what Jerri thinks that will affect these families. It is what God says both through the words and through the Spirit that will make the difference.
I know that. I've seen the truth of it repeatedly in my speaking and home life. Truly, God's word supercedes mine everytime. Still, we are told in 2 Timothy 2:15, "Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth." In other words, if you hope to hear the words of God coming out of your mouth, you better spend the time putting them into your heart, which I better get back to doing.
Praying I never grow lazy in putting the Word of God in my heart so He can put the right words in my mouth to speak to other people's hearts...
As I said, I love this topic because it has the power to change a live, and it really takes so little effort.
I have had the opportunity to speak/teach on this topic in the past. I've taught on this in a class series. I've taught onit at a women's breakfast. I've also taught on it at a women's retreat. I'll be honest, the class series was a bust. People really didn't see the need for this skill. Sad. The women's breakfast was a joy. I knew the women. I loved them then and love them now. The one that struck me the most, though, was the women's retreat. It was powerful, and it really had far more to do with God than it did me. I was the vessel, but truly, what happened there was beyond what mortal words could accomplish. When I start thinking my abilities are about me, I always think back to that and remember that God did a work beyond anything I could do.
It has been awhile since I've done public speaking. I still love it. I can't even explain it. It's like taking a deep breath of the purest air imaginable. It really is life within me. Still, there are times when I start to get nervous. After having the chance to teach at length on this topic, I have 45 minutes this week, and I've never been known for being brief. That is a bit unnerving. Plus, there are simply so many things I want to say. I want these parents to understand the power they have to influence their children simply by the words they choose to use. I feel such urgency to present examples and stories and...
It is really easy to get caught up in what I want to convey, what I want them to know, what I want them to understand, so I take a break periodically and stop. I stop and get still and ask, "Lord, what do you want them to hear? What do you want them to know?" It isn't what Jerri says or what Jerri thinks that will affect these families. It is what God says both through the words and through the Spirit that will make the difference.
I know that. I've seen the truth of it repeatedly in my speaking and home life. Truly, God's word supercedes mine everytime. Still, we are told in 2 Timothy 2:15, "Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth." In other words, if you hope to hear the words of God coming out of your mouth, you better spend the time putting them into your heart, which I better get back to doing.
Praying I never grow lazy in putting the Word of God in my heart so He can put the right words in my mouth to speak to other people's hearts...
3/15/2007
You Can Say That Again
I like quotes. This is one I find to be true in virtually every human endeavor. Of course, God can jump in and change things whenever He wants, but as a rule....
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."- Beverly Sills
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."- Beverly Sills
3/13/2007
Wearing Down
I'm tired. I'm so tired I ache. It isn't so much what I did today either. It is what I have done for the last three days. On Sunday WonderMan and I worked in the yard. We got lots of good work done, and I got some plants rearranged and my seeds down in one bed before the rain started Sunday night. That was good. My back, however, wasn't thrilled. Yesterday the children and I spent over three hours doing errands and buying groceries. It really wasn't a hard day, but with an already tender back, it had some rough consequences last night. Today, the children made banana bread, and I swept up after them and swept the other tile floors in the house. I also did some work in the sun room. When I realized I couldn't get everything organized I needed put away, I decided to make the much needed shelves. WonderMan had already cut the wood. It simply needed to be screwed together and painted. The children helped, which was a blessing, but it still meant a lot of bending and stooping, and now, I am paying the price for my industrious efforts.
If I continue at this pace, I could end up with bulging discs again. I spent 8 weeks in misery before because I didn't know when to quit pushing my limits. I still deal with consequences of that delusional perception of immortality.
Too often I think we don't realize the effects of seemingly negligible behavior. Physically, as an athlete, I was taught a real athletes plays with pain and never gripes. Real athletes also often face surgeries, life-time pain, and drug problems due to damage that cannot be fixed. While I believe God used basketball as part of my sanity, I still find it a highly questionable risk.
Spiritually, we risk far more when we begin to dabble in areas that seem inconsequential. One flirtatious joke. One date with someone who doesn't share our values. One trip to that club on the outskirts of town because that is where everyone at the office is going. One lie about one's income. One. Just one. I spent one day working in the flower beds. Did it ruin my back? No, but it sure made it susceptible to further injury. The problem is, though, I develop a false security. One time didn't hurt me. Surely I'll be fine doing this. Then comes the rationalization and the second time.
The second joke. The second date. Second trip to the club. The second lie.
Still, I'm a little sore, but I'm doing okay, and it felt good to get those things done. Just like the flirting feels good. The attention feels good. Watching those women (or men) feels good. Having a bigger bank account feels good.
At what point does the delusion that I am doing no damage stop? When I am in an MRI machine finding out whether I'll need surgery? When the flirting becomes kissing or when the kissing becomes intercourse? When the date becomes adulterous or an unequally yoked marriage? Maybe when the fantasies make it nearly impossible to work or maybe when your wife-or worse, your child-finds the porn on your computer or under your bed? Before or after the IRS audits you and takes all you own or sends you to jail?
It doesn't even have to be "the big stuff" listed above. Shopping, eating, coffee with the girls, cleaning, not cleaning...Anything that takes your heart from God and the ministry He has for you both inside your house and has to be seen for what it is. It is sin, and sin leads to destruction.
It destroys families, children, relationships, companies...individuals.
When does the reality of the consequences of our actions become painful enough that we can no longer ignore, but instead, we acknowledge the pain and destruction we are causing and repent of our ways?
Tonight I am taking time to listen to my back. It says my behavior is destructive. I can listen now or be forced to deal with the consequences of my behavior later. Destructive behavior cannot be ignored forever.
Praying the Quiet Voice whispers loud enough that I can never ignore it...and never want to...
If I continue at this pace, I could end up with bulging discs again. I spent 8 weeks in misery before because I didn't know when to quit pushing my limits. I still deal with consequences of that delusional perception of immortality.
Too often I think we don't realize the effects of seemingly negligible behavior. Physically, as an athlete, I was taught a real athletes plays with pain and never gripes. Real athletes also often face surgeries, life-time pain, and drug problems due to damage that cannot be fixed. While I believe God used basketball as part of my sanity, I still find it a highly questionable risk.
Spiritually, we risk far more when we begin to dabble in areas that seem inconsequential. One flirtatious joke. One date with someone who doesn't share our values. One trip to that club on the outskirts of town because that is where everyone at the office is going. One lie about one's income. One. Just one. I spent one day working in the flower beds. Did it ruin my back? No, but it sure made it susceptible to further injury. The problem is, though, I develop a false security. One time didn't hurt me. Surely I'll be fine doing this. Then comes the rationalization and the second time.
The second joke. The second date. Second trip to the club. The second lie.
Still, I'm a little sore, but I'm doing okay, and it felt good to get those things done. Just like the flirting feels good. The attention feels good. Watching those women (or men) feels good. Having a bigger bank account feels good.
At what point does the delusion that I am doing no damage stop? When I am in an MRI machine finding out whether I'll need surgery? When the flirting becomes kissing or when the kissing becomes intercourse? When the date becomes adulterous or an unequally yoked marriage? Maybe when the fantasies make it nearly impossible to work or maybe when your wife-or worse, your child-finds the porn on your computer or under your bed? Before or after the IRS audits you and takes all you own or sends you to jail?
It doesn't even have to be "the big stuff" listed above. Shopping, eating, coffee with the girls, cleaning, not cleaning...Anything that takes your heart from God and the ministry He has for you both inside your house and has to be seen for what it is. It is sin, and sin leads to destruction.
It destroys families, children, relationships, companies...individuals.
When does the reality of the consequences of our actions become painful enough that we can no longer ignore, but instead, we acknowledge the pain and destruction we are causing and repent of our ways?
Tonight I am taking time to listen to my back. It says my behavior is destructive. I can listen now or be forced to deal with the consequences of my behavior later. Destructive behavior cannot be ignored forever.
Praying the Quiet Voice whispers loud enough that I can never ignore it...and never want to...
3/08/2007
I've Fallen, and I Can't Get Up on my Own
I have this tendency not to write when life becomes "intense", which really means when I feel I am spending more time picking gravel out of my knees because I just fell again than I am actually moving forward.
My friend Iona is amazing to me. She can be so completely transparent about her victories, encouragement, discouragement, and failings. Today I was reading a book by Lisa Whelchel (www.LisaWhelchel.com), and she talked about her failings and weaknesses a lot more openly than most folks I know. Folks who can lay their heart out there for all to see amaze me.
Now, the irony is that I have been told repeatedly that the strength of my writing is in my willingness to be transparent and vulnerable. People want to know they are not the only ones who struggle, tumble, and pick gravel from their knees. Of course, I can only speak for me, but I like to know I'm not in this struggle alone, and I doubt I am the only one who feels that way.
As I sat here and thought about that, I think there are primarily two groups of people who like to know they are not alone in the "gravel picking" department. I think the first group likes to point at others' failures and use them as excuses for how they are. Perhaps that is cynical. I tend to think some folks call things cynical because the truth of the statement hits too close to home, but then, I could be cynical about that as well. Anyway, the second group that likes to know they aren't alone in picking gravel are the ones who desire to be the best they can be, to be a good and faithful servant. Sometimes it is nice to know that even those who "have it all together" really don't. It gives us hope that we are not beyond change. It helps us be encouraged that someday we won't trip over that same rock...again. Somehow knowing others struggle make us feel less like failures and more like works in progress.
In theory, we shouldn't need anyone else to help us with that. The Bible says that He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). Paul says he moves forward to take hold of the prize, not that he already has, but that he is in the process (Philippians 3). In fact, Paul says the following:
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things..."
Yesterday was one of those days that left me lying face down on the path to eternity, and while it involved an abundance of humility, it was not an act of worship that put me there.
Simply stated, things that were unresolved built up to ungodly levels (Note that if things are not addressed and settled to the glory of God, they are unresolved at an ungodly level, so we had long since taken a flying leap into ungodly levels of unresolved issues). The result was an even more ungodly explosion of anger, hurt, and accusations. Beloved Husband is out of town, so he didn't see the full display, but he heard it. By the time the children went to bed, they had ample opportunity to witness Mommy repenting and explaining that even when someone hurts you or makes you angry, voices elevated to high decibel levels are not the way to handle the situation. The children were forgiving. Beloved Hubby understood the root issues and was forgiving, and when the dust had settled, I lay in the floor and cried.
I hadn't just stumbled. I had taken a header, and from what I could see, I was pretty disfigured. I emailed my friend MaryB and confessed everything. She was loving and kind, and then said the most Realistic thing she could. She said, "But I say, 'Get up. He sees your tears. He knows your humanity. He also knows your familiy's humanity. And He loves because He truly knows YOU.'"
Sounds a lot like Paul, in my opinion. Perhaps Paul's words could be paraphrased, "Instead of lying on the floor crying because I blew it, I get up and move on because I know my righteousness is not dependent on my ability because I have none. My righteousness is dependent on my faith in Christ Jesus who has already become righteousness for me. He is already my perfection, and I am in the process of becoming like Him. I'm not like Him yet, and I won't get there by lying on the floor crying. I choose to press on with faith in Him to make me who He has said I am."
So I embraced Mary's directive, and I got off the floor. I blew it yesterday. I blew it some today. I'm in the process.
You know what really makes me stop and think, though? What utterly fascinates me in all this is my real role in this process. Do you notice that Paul never mentions what he can do to overcome all of his failures? Paul has no four-point plan on how to modify his behavior or stop committing a particular sin. To the contrary, Paul says he recognizes that he will never achieve anything on his own, and his solution is not to "modify" the flesh but to let it die. In fact, Paul considers any effort he can make for his own righteousness to be rubbish, and instead, longs to embrace the absolute necessity of righteousness through Christ as the only means to eternal life. Paul is completely convinced he can do nothing for himself.
So where does change come from? In the two scriptures I just mentioned, we find two simple answers:
1. Dying with Christ and taking His righteousness.
2. Letting God do His job and get out of His way. Notice that Paul does not say, "And if you work really hard, you'll finally get there." No, Paul said that the Father, who began a good work in you, is faithful to complete it.
The last thing I want to mention as a necessity is the filling and leading of the Holy Spirit. Romans 12: 1 and 2 say, " 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. "
How is your mind renewed?
1. Dying to yourself and living in Christ.
2. Letting God do His work in you.
3. Letting the Holy Spirit lead you into all truth (John 16:13).
I won't tell you it is an easy journey. It's not. It hurts. If it were easy, every human being would be flocking to it. However, if you want answers, I got those. I have ALL the answers because I know there is only one Answer, and even when I am lying on my face in the gravel where I just fell over the most obvious rock in the world, He is still the Answer, and when I call to Him, He is faithful to answer.
Praying you remeber that even when the questions are hard or you think you might be bombing your test, there is only one Answer, and He is faithful to answer you when you call to Him...
My friend Iona is amazing to me. She can be so completely transparent about her victories, encouragement, discouragement, and failings. Today I was reading a book by Lisa Whelchel (www.LisaWhelchel.com), and she talked about her failings and weaknesses a lot more openly than most folks I know. Folks who can lay their heart out there for all to see amaze me.
Now, the irony is that I have been told repeatedly that the strength of my writing is in my willingness to be transparent and vulnerable. People want to know they are not the only ones who struggle, tumble, and pick gravel from their knees. Of course, I can only speak for me, but I like to know I'm not in this struggle alone, and I doubt I am the only one who feels that way.
As I sat here and thought about that, I think there are primarily two groups of people who like to know they are not alone in the "gravel picking" department. I think the first group likes to point at others' failures and use them as excuses for how they are. Perhaps that is cynical. I tend to think some folks call things cynical because the truth of the statement hits too close to home, but then, I could be cynical about that as well. Anyway, the second group that likes to know they aren't alone in picking gravel are the ones who desire to be the best they can be, to be a good and faithful servant. Sometimes it is nice to know that even those who "have it all together" really don't. It gives us hope that we are not beyond change. It helps us be encouraged that someday we won't trip over that same rock...again. Somehow knowing others struggle make us feel less like failures and more like works in progress.
In theory, we shouldn't need anyone else to help us with that. The Bible says that He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). Paul says he moves forward to take hold of the prize, not that he already has, but that he is in the process (Philippians 3). In fact, Paul says the following:
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things..."
Yesterday was one of those days that left me lying face down on the path to eternity, and while it involved an abundance of humility, it was not an act of worship that put me there.
Simply stated, things that were unresolved built up to ungodly levels (Note that if things are not addressed and settled to the glory of God, they are unresolved at an ungodly level, so we had long since taken a flying leap into ungodly levels of unresolved issues). The result was an even more ungodly explosion of anger, hurt, and accusations. Beloved Husband is out of town, so he didn't see the full display, but he heard it. By the time the children went to bed, they had ample opportunity to witness Mommy repenting and explaining that even when someone hurts you or makes you angry, voices elevated to high decibel levels are not the way to handle the situation. The children were forgiving. Beloved Hubby understood the root issues and was forgiving, and when the dust had settled, I lay in the floor and cried.
I hadn't just stumbled. I had taken a header, and from what I could see, I was pretty disfigured. I emailed my friend MaryB and confessed everything. She was loving and kind, and then said the most Realistic thing she could. She said, "But I say, 'Get up. He sees your tears. He knows your humanity. He also knows your familiy's humanity. And He loves because He truly knows YOU.'"
Sounds a lot like Paul, in my opinion. Perhaps Paul's words could be paraphrased, "Instead of lying on the floor crying because I blew it, I get up and move on because I know my righteousness is not dependent on my ability because I have none. My righteousness is dependent on my faith in Christ Jesus who has already become righteousness for me. He is already my perfection, and I am in the process of becoming like Him. I'm not like Him yet, and I won't get there by lying on the floor crying. I choose to press on with faith in Him to make me who He has said I am."
So I embraced Mary's directive, and I got off the floor. I blew it yesterday. I blew it some today. I'm in the process.
You know what really makes me stop and think, though? What utterly fascinates me in all this is my real role in this process. Do you notice that Paul never mentions what he can do to overcome all of his failures? Paul has no four-point plan on how to modify his behavior or stop committing a particular sin. To the contrary, Paul says he recognizes that he will never achieve anything on his own, and his solution is not to "modify" the flesh but to let it die. In fact, Paul considers any effort he can make for his own righteousness to be rubbish, and instead, longs to embrace the absolute necessity of righteousness through Christ as the only means to eternal life. Paul is completely convinced he can do nothing for himself.
So where does change come from? In the two scriptures I just mentioned, we find two simple answers:
1. Dying with Christ and taking His righteousness.
2. Letting God do His job and get out of His way. Notice that Paul does not say, "And if you work really hard, you'll finally get there." No, Paul said that the Father, who began a good work in you, is faithful to complete it.
The last thing I want to mention as a necessity is the filling and leading of the Holy Spirit. Romans 12: 1 and 2 say, " 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. "
How is your mind renewed?
1. Dying to yourself and living in Christ.
2. Letting God do His work in you.
3. Letting the Holy Spirit lead you into all truth (John 16:13).
I won't tell you it is an easy journey. It's not. It hurts. If it were easy, every human being would be flocking to it. However, if you want answers, I got those. I have ALL the answers because I know there is only one Answer, and even when I am lying on my face in the gravel where I just fell over the most obvious rock in the world, He is still the Answer, and when I call to Him, He is faithful to answer.
Praying you remeber that even when the questions are hard or you think you might be bombing your test, there is only one Answer, and He is faithful to answer you when you call to Him...
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